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March 10, 2007
private report
*Caution*
today's entry is very personal for myself, please disregard and visit another moment if you mind. Thank you for visiting here anyway.
Last Tuesday my granma passed away, at the age of 93. It has been kind of expected, since some years ago when she had become almost all the time unconscious, completely unabled anything and stayed laid in bed.
I went to my hometown on Wednesday, attended her funeral service on Thursday and came back here yesterday. DH kindly kept my boys for these days, for DS first had his school and the second has not been stable of his temperature for these days, so I could not take them with me, neither could stay there long.
Her condition mentioned above has been quite long and it was something "heavy" for those who had taken care of her all the time, that was my aunt and my mum. And I felt always it was difficult for granma herself, even if she has completely lost in unconscious. Before, when she was lively she was someone small and slim, and these last years she became rather "stuffed" figure---with the liquid meal by the tube. Her face was swollen, had pink color by the perfectly balanced medical meal.
Her last was calm and natural, it was apparently due to her age. I would like to say her "granma, now you can rest undisturbed..." and I imagine she could be relieved now without body with prastic tubes. I could meet her before burial, I feel quiet rather than sorrow.
I remember a jade green scarf I have knitted for her, when I was teen. I think actually it was my first knitting project for someone else. She loved green, and she accepted very gladly the scarf and used it anytime when she needed a scarf.(She was not someone who had interests in any kind of handcrafts or needle work, I learned how to knit from my mum) I made it for her birthday. It was basket stitch scarf. I loved her.
My hometown was quite far from Tokyo, so all the way home I could knit in the train. I brought the baby blanket, knitted it in thinking about a kind of exchange of life, praying. The baby was born and granma passed her light to the newborn. I have completed the blanket, so I will show you next time.
Posted by trico at March 10, 2007 08:48 PM
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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. It is a sad time for you and your family.
Posted by: Barbara at March 11, 2007 10:03 AM
My sympathies for your loss. Please take care.
Posted by: May at March 12, 2007 12:35 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand your feeling of quiet rather than sadness...my grandfather was in much the same condition when he passed away and his passing gave me more of an odd sense of relief and gladness that he did not have to suffer anymore. Take care on yoru trip home.
Posted by: Marie at March 15, 2007 08:29 AM
Jun, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories of her.
Posted by: Mariko at March 16, 2007 07:51 AM
i'm sorry to hear of your loss. my thoughts are with you and your family. *big hug*
Posted by: shobhana at March 17, 2007 10:43 PM