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July 03, 2006
lack of love
Since two weeks I have not knitted much. Currently I have mainly three projects, red tank, gray tank and purple tank. I love tank. It is OK, but why I have not been in the mood to knit?
For me, my motivation to knit consists of 1)instant practical use(I don't knit wooly item in summer), 2)love for yarn(color and touch), 3)love for the design, 4)my calmness of mind. The order isn't important, but I need all of them at the same time to keep the project going. Some days ago when I was thinking about it, I inspected my current project according to these conditions. I realised there is lack of love for the yarn for red tank, lack of love for yarn and design for gray tank, and lack of priority for purple tank.
Adding to that, I have been restless for weeks, due to illness of my boys. Not only I was worried about them, but also I was quite distressed to embarrass my co-workers because of my inability. I have been stressed by all of that recently.
People says often that knitting is very good activity as anti-stress and it works well. I am not doubtful about it for the others but it just doesn't work for me. When I was pregnant, knitting was something difficult for me, because I was so obsessed to the reality of having baby. I was too much busy to worry about the baby and health. There was no place for knitting in my brain at that time.
This past weekend, finally DS first's fever has gone, and instead at Sunday evening I found DS second had some skin problem which looks contagious one and if yes it would cause other bad day for me. I was devastated and stressed out, but I tried to be sane. This morning I brought him to the hospital and doctor told me it stays yet the incipient stage and he doesn't need antibiotics to take, just apply an ointment. I heaved a deep sigh of relief and was able to bring him to the day care and went to work. I made my day today, but I know tomorrow is the other day.
To be working-mother is sometimes quite difficult, you know. This is just one of that kind of days, but it prevent me from knitting. I have to be relaxed to enjoy it. How is it for you?
I have made center-pull balls of Blue Sky Cotton for my next tank for MIL, which was supposed to be casted on two days ago. It remains this status yet.
Posted by trico at July 3, 2006 11:10 PM
????
I'm the same way. I find knitting relaxing if I'm in the mood to be relaxed. When I feel too stressed nothing can really calm me down and make me not focus on what I'm worrying about, not even knitting. I'm glad your boys are getting better! It must be terribly worrying to have them ill one after another and still try to focus on work with all of that going on. I hope you'll take some time for yourself and not stress out too much!
Posted by: Marie at July 4, 2006 05:54 PM
I feel the same about knitting, it is only nice and relaxing if the rest of my life is calm. If I am anxious about something else, I cannot knit. I know how worries about children and stress at work can add up, so I hope your son gets well soon. There will be time to knit again.
Posted by: erin at July 5, 2006 08:13 PM
Knitting is relaxing for me, but when I am tired/sleepy I do not knit. If I feel anxious I can knit and it will relax me. I like the process of knitting. I usually will finish a project, but if I don't it's ok because all I want to do is knit.
Ruth
Houston TX USA
Posted by: Ruth at July 8, 2006 03:42 AM